An Open letter to JK Rowling’s friends and supporters from a father of a trans daughter in the UK
CW Self harm and Suicide.
I spoke on Ed Miliband’s podcast in 2017 about a manufactured media moral panic over Trans children, and how in spite of this campaign, there was much to be positive about. This included broad cross-party support for gender recognition reform in England & Wales and it looked like Scotland, the world leader on LGBTQ rights, would rapidly deliver reforms for Transgender equality.
I no longer feel much reason to be cheerful. I know many Trans youth who are struggling. The current government’s rhetoric and Covid isolation are taking a huge toll. Attacks have been coming from all sides of the political spectrum. Joanne Rowling’s recent public statements are only the latest in what feels like a five year public debate on the existence of Trans youth. Trans adolescent healthcare has been on the edge for some time, and the situation is now critical. Those at the end of the wait list for the sole provider in England & Wales have waited for 31 months. Those starting that list now can expect to have their wait measured not in months but years. The wait at the adolescent centre in Scotland (the Sandyford) is only slightly shorter.
It is not only healthcare, you may also be aware of the attempts to remove Sex & Relationship Education and LGBTQ anti-bullying support in schools. Local education authorities in Oxfordshire, Warwickshire and elsewhere have withdrawn or suspended trans inclusion policies pending threats of legal action, our education authority is one of those impacted.
Joanne’s comments, whatever their intent, are within the context of what feels like a tangible escalation of public hatred directed at trans people and especially at trans women and girls. I’m as scared as I have ever been for my daughter since she came out to us. I know many families, including ours, who are making contingency plans to leave their community, family, jobs and schools for somewhere in the world with greater trans equality, legal protections and healthcare.
Like any parent my first priority is my children’s safety and well-being. I’ve lost contact with friends who cut themselves off from our family after we made the decision to support our child’s gender identity. I also know families who have lost children who didn’t want to live in a world where they are not accepted for who they are. A close friend’s daughter who had been struggling with gender dysphoria & isolation was recently hospitalised after an overdose. While suicide is always multi factor, I have no reason to question my friend’s daughter’s statement that Joanne’s comments had contributed to her feelings of powerlessness and loss of hope.
Our family has much to be grateful for. My daughter is loved and accepted by her family and community. She’s excelling in her education and has an amazing and supportive group of friends. We’ve tried to protect her from the worst of the media, and the politics, but the pressure of constant negativity is taking a toll on her, on her siblings and us as her parents. I’d be grateful for anything you can do to support. This generation of trans children cannot grow up in fear and shame.
